SEVEN-PART SERIES

Practice Makes Perfect?

While the general public usually spends countless hours throughout the weekend tailgating before the big game, having people over to watch the game on the big screen, or simply buying tickets and sitting in the stands among thousands of fans, football teams usually spend a majority of their energy well before the weekend, preparing for the weekend’s challenge. 

And, luckily for the fans, teams on every level usually put on a fine showing – sometimes even in defeat – with every snap, motion, and pattern harmonizes into a wonderful spectacle of athleticism, coordination, and beauty that even a non-fan can appreciate.  What the average person doesn’t know is that that weekend pageantry doesn’t just happen by chance or by natural born talent – that comes with a week’s worth of practices throughout the season.    

Teams make a big deal of practicing hard and with precision. Day after day, they monotonously go over each play and game time scenario.  They even look at game tape on other teams as well as their own game tapes.  And, they do all this so that they put themselves in a good position to face any challenge the other team throws their way in the upcoming game.  

Challenges – maybe more than any other time in this country’s history – come at families daily and without prejudice, often throwing families off track and routinely tearing them apart.  If only families could put in the same time and preparation in facing these challenges as some of the better football teams do game in and game out, I wonder if that would make any headway into improving the resilience of today’s family. 

It’s well noted that we are in a time of two-income households, which unfortunately means families are spending less time with each other even during meal times – a time that was once sacred to families.  Children, especially during the school year, also seem to be spending less time at home with countless school/church/community events, activities, and clubs for seemingly everything imaginable these days. 

Of course, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with two-income households or children becoming involved in activities outside of the home, but it has come at the expense of once strong family unities.  So, when challenges come barreling into any of these given families, some families simply feel too ill equipped to handle it.  Or, even worse, some families aren’t even aware of the challenges facing them or a particular family member due to them never being informed or due to them being too consumed with their own life. 

Practicing every day – or simply put, daily setting aside time for each other – could go a long way in establishing a winning culture within your family.  It doesn’t have to be near as long as a football practice and it doesn’t have to be near as intense, it only requires 15-30 minutes of undivided attention throughout the week.  It’s what used to be called family dinners. 

Unfortunately, due to the two-income households and busy school lives of children, I often run into families that simply contend that family dinners, logistically, are not possible.  I used to let that slide until I remembered the days of covering high school football when teams would set up their practices inside the gymnasium whenever rain soaked the field throughout the day.  Apparently, according to one coach’s admission, practicing on a wet field during the week makes for a “definite eye sore” for the friends, family, and fans in attendance on that same field that upcoming Friday.  Rather than canceling practice, however, these teams simply adjusted and spent their afternoon hours stuffed barefoot together in their muggy and musty school gym, and they barely missed a beat.  

Families can adjust too.  If eating dinner isn’t feasible, set aside a time for dessert.  Dessert, not surprisingly, can be a lot more enjoyable than dinner anyway thanks to common thread of a sweet tooth we all share before going to sleep – and, more importantly, it’s time spent together for that day.  Even if dessert isn’t possible, try breakfast together.  I would go as far as saying families should live adventurously and have a midnight snack occasionally whenever every other time is taken up during the day.  Last I checked, there are plenty of 24-hour restaurants in the metro Atlanta area.  Some pretty good ones too. 

Whatever you decide to do, it’s imperative that you do something once day with the entire family.  Spending time together daily and catching up with each other is the first step in preparing for whatever challenges come your family’s way.  You will be more in tune with one another and, in turn, better able to collaboratively face the challenge head on with confidence. 

Lastly – because we are talking about families here and anyone would be naïve not to believe that family members get under our skin the most – remember to take one day off a week from intentionally spending time together.  Even the best of football teams, including the pros, take a day off every week, simply for players and coaches to regroup and take time doing what they enjoy.  Thankfully, that also helps to unify family members and helps to put in perspective healthy boundaries within the family as well.  A definite win-win. 

Next week:  Supporting Community Support

Written by Jordan R. Yates, MAMFT, LAPC, Children, Adolescent and Family Therapist at Restoration Counseling of Atlanta